The Affair That Never Was

I wonder if you saw through my
scholarship, humor, pursuit of zest
Could you glimpse the emptiness that
stared me cold in the eye?

That once when you held my hand,
were you trying to dispel
the doom of empty promises
which haunt me in daylight?

Or were you too, like me,
cognizant of nothing but
that electrifying touch?
immobilized by desire
and sheer abandon?

Who passed you that secret
message to arrive into my life?
Did my words invite you?
Or were you, like me,
lost to the mundane;
in search of light,
lightness and lust?

Whispering my name,
You led me into your
multi-fabric tapestry of
dreams, words, why,
an entire world;
outside this universe.

I once came knocking when you slept
And looked through your window.

That zesty, sparkling world that
you made for us,
if I had stepped into it,
would it have become mine?

But my worlds fall apart.
Completely and utterly.
I do not want to enter your world,
my strangest, strongest, love.

I wish for it to remain the star
that lights my path at night and dictate my fate.
The star that I hope to be the dust of.
One day, when this affair that never was,
ends.