Chalam - premalekha

Chalam has remained in my memory as one of the greatest writers ever (that I have read, I must add) who has explored the concept of love both carnal and discarnate in the same breath. Below is my abecedarian attempt at translating one of his emotive love letters.

(p.s: you have guessed it right. Thats why - "premalekhalu"!)

For you and me,

No, I cannot alter this itinerary of my relentless mind's odyssey of the unknown. Not even for your sake. Even as I try to loosen your grasp, you reign over my thoughts in a baffling gait, your timeless tunes lure me through a myriad dreams. I can neither find you nor lose hope -what am I but a vagrant, an eremite of love? I run hiter-thither seeking you in words that are lost to history.

My hope: Your voice that rings in my ears since time immemorial. The touch of your tresses in the distant realms of my dreams. A gently whispered promise of union on the other shore of time. Delusion or madness, my love?

I have no peace, no comfort, no joy. The very thought that perhaps there is no "you", that perhaps through these fathomless ravines of time- I have been in quest of myself, is harrowing. Tired in this quest for you, my vision has turned inward and my heart calls itself by your name. These stars in a moonless sky and the eight corners of mortal space all mock alike- my infatuation with the beauty of a mirage.

Your smile is the light that enlightens the yogi.

How can I reach for it? I, who seek thee in this world?

Pulau Ubin: Singapore of the yore

A week ago, to escape the mad crowds of the long weekend, we decided to finally visit the famed "Singapore of the yore". It is a mere ten minute ferry ride from Changi point but as you step into this island you realise how true that is!

You do have to get out of the three or so enthusiastic vendors who will try to make you hire a cycle though - one of them was so desperate- he even called V a "bollywood hero" in his desperate attempt to make us stop in his shop. Actually we were surprised how no one seemed to consider taking a walk in this place- Bicycles are a must by the looks of it. But then, we lived long enough in Singapore to know we needn't follow them! And were we glad to take this trek?

Here's what we found in one of the nooks- imagine living here!! What would I not do to live here?

Along the way, we saw a few villagers collecting coconuts and smoking them-so this is where the "Thai" tender coconuts come from then? Where ever they are from, I just love fragrant coconut water. So we stopped at a "hut" selling them and had a taste of heaven. As we walked into the woods, the remnants of urban life disappeared- no more pucca roads- it was mud paths strewn with potholes, dried leaves and broken twigs. V had a good laugh at the expense of my nostalgia for potholes. Walking in the woods really did bring me back to my treasured days in Vizag- those trips to Simhachalam, Srikakulam, Vizayanagaram (more about them some other time).

While walking we came across quite a few people on their bicycles, pardon me for being what I am but to me it looked like they were doing just cycling and nothing else. I mean how can you not break into a smile when you are in such a place? When the wind brings in whiffs of unbelievably sensuous smells- the tembusu, frangipani and a million other smells that lift your spirits and take you into a different world? Quite a few were carrying mobile radios blasting music and I can safely say that none of them cared for the smells and the sounds of the forest. And a lot more were walking around with a two-ton equipment to photograph the sights. I guess it was my "hormone-high" time of the month which brought tears to my eyes. Or perhaps it is this thought that man no longer takes pleasure in nature as it is. I know people from all over the world just love this region. But all this hullabaloo about hiking/ trekking/ diving/ para sailing/ kayaking...what ever .."ing" makes me wonder whether we can ever stop for a minute and enjoy what is around us without having to "do" anything to fill our time (and yes, that does explain my next-to-zero-social-life).

As we neared the Check Jawa area, the wind turned balmy and I swear I could smell salt in the air..and all of a sudden what do we see-what else but a baby monitor lizard. It gave us a 'what-the hell-are you-doing-here-man' look (think Eddie Murphy) before disappearing. It was there that we saw two Singaporean kids playing with their father and for once, just playing- no buckets, spades and all the rest of the mandatory beach paraphernalia! It is always this way with me- my cynical side gets a kick in the butt as soon as I take recourse to cynicism (almost instantaneously), I get to see the other side (which I absolutely need to reaffirm my faith in life, may I add?). So thank who-ever-you-are-up-here.

For those of you folks who are reading this and haven't been yet to this place, I'll add that check jawa is amazing- with thousands of crabs (what hues!), barnacles, mollusks and mangroves and to top them all, eagles and hornbills(!). There is also an (swaying) observatory tower which is a great vantage point for bird watching-if you don't mind having to put up with the flights landing at a furious pace (reminding us we are ever so close to civilisation). So what are you waiting for? Shoot Orchard road and take this trip to Pulau Ubin and then tell me if you don't fall in love with Singapore.

(Reminder: for those of you who haven't figured out yet, my views can be slightly biased!)

More slices of the paradise :

Babbles in the name of poetry

Until we meet again

If that brief rendezvous with you
Were all I would know of life,
How gladly would I give up these listless
years of existence!
to have a glimpse of that once, just once
again
Each day dawning into a new one,
It feels like I live in history
Moving onto future..and yet knowing
Tomorrows wont have much to yield
Except memories of yesterday
Why should this circle of time ensnare me?
Me,
who has been immortalized by your touch?
I have transcended the boundaries of
this world
With the strength of your breath flowing
into my being
Love, my love,
will u not help me live this life
Until we meet again?

Loneliness

And once again,
I stand alone;
All hope of quenching this
Ever-increasing thirst in this desert
gone
For my dreams,
like puffs of rainclouds,
Have drifted past my wait;
And my own eyes have been dried
By the smouldering flames
Of my burning anguished heart.

(my poems on www.poetry.com!)

Of faith and Chettinad curry

Last night was interesting if that doesn't sound cliched. We decided to go for the spicy chettinad curry in Little India before V leaves for Dubai. The place is so full on Mondays! -but we did manage to get a table. Soon we saw a motley bunch enter- one was a Ang Mo (that's the local term for gora) the second was Indian and three were distinctly African-looking. Four of them sat down at a table next to us and there was one who had no place to sit- so we offered our table. He seemed quite friendly and in no time started talking about why he was here (to attend a training in "leadership"), where he was from (Solomon Islands!) and how much he was tempted to buy for his kids from here.

When he spoke, it was like going back in time- I mean seriously when was the last time you had a middle aged-person speak of peace and serenity and the happiness his kids bring with no reference to job/career/travel for twenty serious minutes? I was thoroughly enjoying his simplicity and his child like enthusiasm about the "organisation" and cleanliness of Singapore. A few minutes before he had sat down at our table, there was an Indian who, while waiting for a place in the restaurant, dragged a chair from our table and sat with his back facing us and the moment a place was announced by the waiter, jumped to get it (and I swear I am not exaggerating) without so much as a smile at us. I was just thinking about how drab and dull we Indian expats have become here- so jaded that even smiling doesn't come easy. And as an answer to my thoughts, comes this islander who is all smiles!

But why would life be called a paheli if that was the story? Even as the gentleman was relishing the chettinad spices, his Ang mo friend (I was so tempted to ask him if his name was Obelisk- get the picture?) turned to me and asked me if I would like to go to heaven or hell. And in an instant- it all fell into place- "leadership training"....evangelism! Too amused to stop, I replied- "heaven of course" to which he said that the only way I could do that was to invite Jesus into my heart.
I said "but I do have Jesus in my heart".
"Are you hindu?"
"yes"
"This is the problem with you hindus- you have so many Gods that Jesus is another of those"
"And whats wrong with that?"
"Jesus has to be invited with an open heart"
"How would thinking of Jesus as another form of God be called closed?"
"We have met for a purpose- Jesus has sent his message to you through me- you can make a choice of heaven or hell now"

We had to leave for the fear of missing V's flight but I wish I could have stayed on and spoken to the Ang mo. I wish to understand how it is civilized to call me "you hindus" and to brush aside my faith as if the only thing that mattered in the world is that I (and everyone else) believe in what he believed in. I wish to understand how any intelligent person believes that there is but one truth? That there is but one colour in this world? If it is so, what is day and what is night? Can we say that the sun is there- can we say that it is not there? Are both not true? And yet both not true?

I am born into this faith which respects all religious beliefs because fundamentally, no religion can be in conflict with the universal quest of man- his search for himself and for the ultimate answers to his existence. I fail to understand why someone has to constantly re-affirm his own faith by way of making another person "convert" to his faith. I wish this stops- can we not be at peace with each one's beliefs?

When I was thinking of this episode this morning, I remembered that the gentleman from Solomon Island was quiet through all our conversation. When we were leaving, he said- " I am so glad I met you both and hope you will look me up in Solomon Island". No evangelism here- just humane-ness. That thought made me smile with relief. There are still people in this world who have perspective-Thank God (in whichever form!)